This morning I woke up at 5AM, put on warm clothes, stretched staring up at the (all) the stars, and put the greca coffee maker on the grill burner. And, of course, I gave Button a couple of belly rubs while she purred her mastiff purr. It’s probably around 55 degrees. It doesn’t bother me […]
Saturday night I felt it lift. My system was in complete turmoil. Like it was trying to expel every last content. For me, the emotions that seem to inhabit my belly like a parasite consuming me from within. Then I woke up and I could breath. I cannot really explain it other than the way […]
This is an important point in my history. It is the first time in a long time that I felt the need to pause and take care of me. And I did. The heron, the “Blue Cottage” that had a cancellation just at the moment that I was looking for a space of repose and […]
Well – there goes another two weeks. Oh – nope – actually over a month. No wonder why the urge to write has become more than just pressing. Another shift has happened. The timeframe within which I had place much anticipation and fear has nearly passed… and he is calmer and kinder as well. So […]
All the fight has finally left me…or did a number of days ago. I have stopped and don’t care the consequence of of doing so. This is the first time. It started happening during a period when I was pushing through several projects and lost the one support I had. And I started to give […]
On July 4th it felt as if I had a severe fever that broke. I woke in the middle of the night with a sigh and just knew. It sounds rather woo woo ish but that is the literal description of where I was… The week prior my body (maybe my mind) was in full […]
… or not. Have ton of work to catch up on. Wish I were walking the dogs in the back field. Kiki keeps yowling at me. I need a shower. At least I have food this morning. Not the same as stealing eggs from under the chickens for breakfast though. LOL. Being here is quiet. […]
It’s been two months. ”How long are you going to be gone for.” My roommate had asked. “I am planning for two weeks…but it is weird feeling like I am packing not really knowing how long I will be gone.” Maybe it was PTSD from 911 when I left for Tahoe for one week, stayed […]
The nightingales are vocal this morning. Feeding their young. Last night – dinner for two day two. Routines shifting. Claude was bored with the usual. It does get old. So we roasted a chicken on the grill. Note: keep the water in the bottom until the end. I was a little mad he ate his […]
Last night was perfection and, though I am not sure that I realized it myself, what I had been craving these last two months. Simple – dinner face to face across a table. He did dishes ??and I made the bed. After dinner bath. Intimacy. A solid nights sleep. Nothing to question. All my anger […]