Who am I

The struggle had become real. Somewhere between recognizing the proliferation of negative voices plaguing my sub-conscious and taking a hot minute to step back and ask what the hell is going on, I landed on continually asking myself, “Just who the hell am I anyway?”.

And why has every single thing I think of doing seem to require an inordinate amount of energy? Work had become as much a compulsive reprieve from considering my own lack of self-care. As much an excuse to abuse myself as a means to make money. What I told myself? “It’s okay so long as you are getting your work done. But even that was getting harder and harder.

When had my passion left me? When had every irrelevant detail become such another bind in my paralysis? How long had this really been going on for? If I ‘located’ the genesis, could I course correct? What would be the cost of that discovery? Or, rather, the consequence of taking the time, accepting the needed change, and moving from THAT place. Cause nothing was happening from where I was standing at the time.

My friend had given me a book. It was “Start Where You Are.” For all the practice that I completely believe in and practice in the book. I physically needed to completely divorce myself from where I was to get any traction. Luckily where that place was that would help me shift came to me.